Why fear the CIA when a dodgy taste in 80s music is all I have to hide

Why fear the CIA when a dodgy taste in 80s music is all I have to hide

So Edward Snowden is the man defending liberty. An ex CIA whistle blower advising the free world that we are not free at all and that big brother has arrived in gigantic style and those nasty governments we trust are keeping close eyes on what we are up to online.

In the UK we are in the eye of the storm with the government spy agency GCHQ apparently using this US intelligence to snoop on Old Blighty’s loyal citizens.

The tabloids and  current affairs programmes are in overdrive with their debate about our liberty, so am I alone in being baffled and thinking is this really such a revelation?

If Big Brother wishes to spy on me he will see I spend most of my daily time on internet to research on law, education, public relations matters all associated with my business.

In the evening the spies can see that I also have an unhealthy interest in the fortunes of West Bromwich Albion, which sadly takes up too much headspace. I also like watching comedy and am even a part time stand-up comedian, who can be found on YouTube.

They can even analyse the 7 minute routine on my debut, and work out that I’ve visited Aldi more than once.

If they delve deeper they will also see that on weekends I might even be trawling through videos from my teenage heyday. I’m sure they can ascertain with their in-depth psychoanalysis that I may be wailing Too Shy by Kajagoogoo, whilst no doubt affirming due to the post 11pm time, it’s after consuming most of the four bottles of Black Sheep ale that my wife has bought from our Tesco’s online shop.

If they really wish to get one of their top bright sparks to do a report they will see that I pose a real and significant danger that left untethered  I may be planning a reincarnation of the New Romantics.

I’ve even searched Google to see what the members of Kajagoogoo are now up too. That’s how terrifying this poison in my mind is.

I doubt the invisible eyes will bother though because apart from being a bit of a cheesy and nostalgic 40 something, they will see that they have bigger fish to fry like those who have bought James Blunt albums.

I’d hope the most of you are the same as me in the fact you have your own quirky idiosyncrasies, which may be irritating to some but harmless to society on the whole.

I hope too that you reasonable souls are cool about being spied on in this way. It’s happened very publicly on CCTV for a generation and I’ve never had any problem with that.

I’m also puzzled that this hot news story is seen as some kind of jaw dropping revelation.

For years every day I tap something into Google’s search engine I’ve taken it as read that this was being collated for marketing agencies etc. After all if I go to see a book I like on Amazon, they will come out with suggestions about other ones I may be interested in. At times these companies apparently know how my mind works more than I do.

On my nostalgic Saturday night journeys through YouTube there are those suggestions on the right side and as a result of them I’ve rediscovered some great bands that deserved to be bigger- like The Icicle Works.

The Internet is still a relatively new world and will cause significant headaches-most of the public have only had it at home for a decade or so. It’s an unwieldy beast that does need some policing, but that’s a bigger and more important topic.

In the meantime I’m not going to worry about the CIA. I’ll leave that to the conspiracy theorists.

I’ll carry on going about my harmless daily business trusting that the Government’s we elect are not against us, but actually representing the decent huge majority and doing the best to secure our safety in these uncertain times.

I’ll drink to that thought – Black Sheep Ale of course.